Today marks 3 months since I up and moved from my home in Melbourne, living with my fiance and our fur baby, to live in Adelaide while I complete my studies in a Master of Physiotherapy program.
3 months............. what a LONG 12 weeks it has been!!
People say to me [referring the the length of my course] "it's only 2 years", "time will go quick", "you have lots of uni holidays" ... "you'll be fine".
Oh I'm fine!! ....But I'm miserable.
I'm fine, but I am lonely.
I'm fine, but I'm homesick.
I'm fine, but I'm left feeling unmotivated and everyday is a struggle to get out of bed.
.... but hey, that's ok coz "I'm fine"
Having a really hard time dealing with change. And because it was my choice to move, I feel as though I have no right to struggle or complain.
How does someone go about settling into a life that they know they will just abandon again in 2 years?
I feel as though I am grieving the loss of my old life and I'm in denial about my new one. I feel lost, out of place and like I'm stuck in some sort of limbo between my old life and my current one. I'm scared for what time means for my relationships back home and how they may change of the years. I'm scared of how I may change over the years. What if I don't "fit in" when I move back?
I have moved 30 times in my life (not bad for a currently 29 year old) but this by far is up there as one of the hardest moves I have ever made.
I'm not sure how to process this, how to accept it and how to live with it.
Only time will tell I guess....
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